Dear Conde Nast:

Please stop shrink-wrapping all the magazines you send me. I know you deperately want me to renew (early and often), but all that nasty plastic is starting to piss me off. If I want to resubscribe, I will use one of the eleventy billion postcards you thoughtfully scatter throughout your pages. Alternatively, I will go on this new-fangled thing called "the internet," where I can buy magazines with no paper waste what-so-ever. No more plastic wrap! I beg of you.

Sincerely,

K.

Closet Voyeurism

A blogger (when I remember who, I will credit her) mentioned recently how much she liked seeing other people's closets. I also like seeing other people's closets, so I thought I would post mine. The above is a picture of the outside; it's hard to get a good shot, both because of the shape of the room, and because I'm a terrible photog. Anyway, it's a pretty standard closet with bi-fold doors and one hanging bar/shelf. It's actually really long with two sets of doors, but my husband uses the other half. I keep trying to encroach, but he will have none of it. Notice that the closet appears to be leaking garments. I assure you, this is absolutely normal. Do not be alarmed.


Here's the inside:



Looking at this picture, I realize how much space I'm wasting up top. I might need to get in there and figure out a better way to use that. Maybe a shelf? While I'm at it, I should probably recycle those boxes. Also, note the Leopard Print Faux Fur Coat of Dooooom. This may be the final straw that causes Amish Ryan to divorce me. Or die of embarrassment. But it's so cuuuute, says I. The reason for the massive laundry pile, besides sheer laziness, is that if all my clothes are clean, they do not fit in this closet. I hope to have a walk-in someday, but until then, I may just get a bigger laundry basket. You may also notice what isn't here: shoes. They don't fit, so they are all piled up in boxes around the corner in the bedroom. The Shoe Mountain will be Exhibit B in the divorce filing, right after my faux fur coat.

Want List: Christian Louboutin Poseidon Peep Toe Pumps

If I had these, I would wear them everywhere. I would have to, to justify the $1,195 price tag. Are these made of solid silver, Mr. Louboutin?

photo: saks.com

Outfit 3/2/2010- In the Navy, Part II

After much searching (okay, not really) I finally found some navy tights that don't clash with this skirt. Navy has to be one of the most difficult colors in the world. There are so many interpretations of it. For example, I bought some "navy" tights from welovecolors.com, and they were really much brighter than I would consider navy. These are from Walmart, and for $5, are pretty good. What else to say about this outfit? It's pretty boring, though I do like the lavender and navy combo. Unfortunately, the button-up is a little snug, and in my hurry to beat the timer on my camera, I neglected to tug it back into place. I really did iron it before I wore it to work.

The best part is the shoes!

I just bought these navy platform peep-toes a month or so ago. It's hard to find navy shoes that aren't really dowdy. These are a dark navy with a kind of sparkly, snake-print pattern. They are Calvin Klein (not crazy-expensive Calvin Klein, more like the Calvin Klein that made the tee shirts and jeans I coveted as a middle schooler.) Anyway, I luuuurve them. Such a nice shape!

Silver Locket (unseen) Gift from husband

Lavender button-down: Express, $20? (clearance, for sure)

Navy skirt: thrifted, brand is Alia, $4

Navy tights: Walmart, brand is George, $5

Navy shoes: Calvin Klein via endless.com $98 (Unless my mom asks, then they were $50.)

Outfit, February 24, 2010- Browned Down

No natural fibers were harmed in the making of this skirt.

Mens Button Down Shirt- Thrifted, $1
Sad Brown Skirt- Thrifted, probably $1 (I'll buy anything for $1)
Big Brown Belt- Charlotte Russe, $8
Tights- DSW
Brown Boots- Mossimo for Target, $30? (I paid full price. Gasp.)

I had mixed feelings about this ensemble. It's really cold here (it was 6 degrees when I left home) so I had to wear the tights. In order to keep the skirt from climbing up my thighs, I had to wear a slip. The shirt is really long, so I had it tucked in past my butt, over the tights and under the slip. Basically, I felt lumpy all day. I don't know how people layer as much as they do-- it drives me mad.

The skirt really doesn't help. It's made out of that fabric that they make grandpa pants out of, and it's made for someone more hour-glassy than me. In this case, I'm hoping that the extra flare to the hip made my waist look smaller? Right? I've been thinking about learning to sew, and I think this skirt would make a good starter project. It isn't lined, for one thing, and for another, I really don't care if it gets destroyed. Stay tuned- I might just do it.


I bought these boots at Target four years ago, and I still really like them, even though they aren't real leather. They have a really cool Victorian shape to the heel. They also have the narrowest shaft I've come across on a boot! My calves are a pretty ordinary size, and I can barely zip these to the top.

Outfit, February 18, 2010

This picture is distressingly dark, but I guess since the outfit is all black, it doesn't really matter. I wanted to wear this new black and white striped top I found last Sunday, but I couldn't find anything to pair it with. Finally, after the third incarnation bit the dust, I put this black dress over the top, jumper-style. I've been hesitant to do this, mostly because I've hated jumpers for years. This hatred probably stems from the fact that my mom thought they were adorable, and liked to buy them for me when I was a youngster. In my mind, they seem really childish. However, a couple of the blogs that I follow have "rocked" (sorry) the jumper to great effect. Also, if grown women are wandering around in rompers, I guess I can jumper away. I grabbed these black Nicole Miller pumps to wear with it, and realized when I got to work that they have white top stitching, which I think works really well with the stripes of the top. To keep the whole thing from looking too first day of kindergarten, I wore a big silver chain necklace. I got two compliments on my "dress" and zero comments on my jumper. Score one for me.

I love the shape of these. They have a huge chunky heel, but no platform.

Black & White Stripe top- thrifted, $1 (originally The Limited)

Black Dress- thrifted $1 (vintage!)

Silver necklace- Deb $4?

Black tights- George (Walmart) $5

Black Nicole Miller Pumps- DSW, $28 (Clearance!)

Here's the top view.

Decisions, Decisions...

Hypothetical decisions, as I am broke. If I were going to buy a pair of sequin Chuck Taylors from 6pm.com, should I get:Black?

Silver?

or Blue?

I'm leaning toward blue, but maybe they would look bad with jeans? Perhaps the black would be more... understated. Ha! Also, Dear 6pm.com, why are these still $52.00 when they came out two years ago? That's less than half off! I pretty much refuse to buy anything unless it's 80% off.

Amish Ryan would hate these. It may be worth $52 just to see the look of horror on his face.

Outfit, January 28, 2010 School Marm Chic

This is a picture of an outfit that I wore 3 weeks ago. I am an awesome blogger, no doubt. I've had this blouse (I hate that word!) for about a year, but couldn't figure out how to wear it. It didn't look right untucked, it didn't look right tucked in, it didn't look right buttoned up to the neck or unbuttoned. Finally, I just tucked it in, rolled up the sleeves a little and put on a huge black belt. I think this would have looked better with brown boots and a brown belt, but alas, the brown tights were in the laundry, so that whole plan came tumbling down.

My hair was supposed to be a loose, messy bun, but my hair refuses to have any volumn at the crown, so it turned out to be a regular school-marm type bun. My hair puts me in the depths of dispair. (Anne of Green Gables, anyone?)



Raspberry colored blouse, thrifted at Savers, $4, (possibly vintage)
Black Belt, Charlotte Russe, $8
Khaki colored pencil skirt, thrifted at Arc's, $1
Black tights- ?
Black Charles by Charles David Boots- $100, unless you are my mom, then they were only $50. Shh.

Stamp of Authority

You remember back in the olden days, when the library actually stamped the due date on a card in your library book? Well, I really, really thought those self-inking stampers were cool. I hoped I would get to use one someday, so I could smack it on all kinds of important documents. Ka-chunk!

Cut to 2010, and I have not one, not two, but THREE of those stampers on my desk at work, all for my very own. After stamping an estimated four million documents, I can assure you, the ka-chunk! isn't as satisifying as I dreamed it would be.

Pet Peeves: Whistling

Gah! I'm annoyed by people who wander the world accomanied by their own little "Mayberry" soundtrack. Shut the hell up. Whistling falls under the category of just because you can, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Signed,

Grumpy Old Lady