Really Late Tuesday Shoes- The Goodbye

So sometimes, I do have to get rid of shoes. My husband took it into his head to count my shoes yesterday, and the number he came up with was somewhat astonishing. Since I was already planning to get rid of these two pairs, it seemed like a good peace offering. The brown ones on the left are from Payless, and despite their three inch heels and wide square toes, they are horribly uncomfortable. They are in really good shape, so to the thrift store they go. The tan pair were from Target about 4 years ago, and they are just worn-looking. Scuffs and scratches just look worse on fake leather. I'm kinda sad, because I really liked these, but I just bought some camel-color Sam Edelman's to replace them, so in the bin they go! How do you decide how to purge your stuff?

Dave Barry on Mall of America

I love, love, love this billboard. I think it should be a t shirt.

I just read this in an old Dave Barry column, orginally published July 22, 2001:

Other than that, our trip to Minnesota was great. The highlight was our trip to the Mall of America, which bills itself as "the largest fully enclosed retail and family entertainment complex in the United States." How big is the Mall of America? Here's an actual quote from the mall's official list of Fun Facts: "258 Statue of Libertys could lay inside the Mall."

Where I come from, that's what we call a LOT of Statue of Libertys.

Fully enclosed spaces are popular in Minnesota, where winter lasts an average of 17 months. So the Mall of America is a huge hit. According to the promotional literature, it draws more visitors every year than the Grand Canyon, which of course is not enclosed (you wonder what they were thinking when they built it).

Also, the Grand Canyon offers very limited shopping, whereas the Mall of America has more than 500 stores. I got the impression there were at least 10 stores devoted just to refrigerator magnets. Also, every 35 feet there's a store selling food. So basically you have thousands of people circulating around, shopping and chewing. It's the ultimate American vacation experience. The only thing that would improve it is if you could rent burros, the way you can in the Grand Canyon, so you could shop and chew in a seated position.

In the middle of the Mall of America is - I swear - an amusement park. It has a roller coaster and various other rides, so that if you get tired of shopping and chewing, you can get sick.

I actually enjoy Mall of America, but I will admit this is fairly accurate. And I'm completely on board with the burro idea.

Hey Acne!

Apparently there is a clothing brand named "Acne." Why they decided to name their (expensive!) clothing and shoe designs after one of nature's most irritating and unattractive skin conditions is beyond me. I'm waiting for the diffusion line, Psoriasis. Sorry, that is not the point of this, I just got caught up in annoyance at the whole we're-so-edgy-ness of the name. Moving on!

I was reading Fashionista.com today, because I am a glutton for punishment, and they did one of their "Adventures in Copyright" posts regarding the lovely footwear specimen above, the Acne Ataconda. Apparently, Jeffrey Campbell has made a shoe that looks (almost) exactly like this highly coveted clodhopper. Horrors! And I mean horrors, that TWO designers would create such an ugly shoe, AND that lots of people would want to buy it. Doesn't it look orthopedic? I had a college professor who had a short leg due to a hip problem, and her left shoe looked a lot like this. Except without the snappy metallic stripe.

Image via Polyvore. God knows where they found it.

Want List: Bakers Shoes "Rory"

This is the "Rory" by Bakers Shoes. I want these. I've wanted these for months. Alas, they are still $50, and even I wouldn't try to wear these to work. :( Must be strong!

Halloween

This is me in my "Goth Girl" Halloween costume. I'm not that into Halloween so I wanted a costume that would require minimal expenditure. I already had the dress, the tights, the boots, the eyeliner and the pasty skin, so why not?

I think I did a pretty good job with the eyeliner, too. I would show a close up, but I kind of scared myself when I enlarged the picture, so you'll have to make do with this. It's pretty much a really smudgy, exaggerated cat eye, extended down toward my nose at the inner corner, and winged waaay out at the outer corner. I wanted the lid to be darker, but I'm eyeshadow-impaired, so it didn't work out. I did a mix of black and red lipstick, with gloss over the top. (Finally, a use for that massive collection of lipsticks.)

Black velvet dress- Jones New York, thrifted at Arc's ($1.00!!)
Skull necklace- Savers new stuff
Cross necklace- thrifted @ Arc's
Key necklace- Charlotte Russe
Red Ring- Michaels (the craft store)
Skull ring- Savers new stuff
Lace Gloves- Arc's new stuff
Lace tights- Kohls (I think) Fall 2008
"Army" Boots- Maurices, 1999 (I had to vacuum them, they were so dusty.)

Baaaa

This is a teeny weeny picture of the Ulta Salon Finish nail polish in "Princess." I bought because... I don't know why. I read about it yesterday on BellaSugar, it's supposed to be a dead ringer for some more expensive nail polish, (the brand escapes me at the moment) so I bought it. Just. Like. That. I barely even looked at it first, that is how easily swayed I am by the opinions of others, evey people I've never met.

Luckily, it turns out to be pretty cute, sort of a pinky-peachy shimmer that would look nice on my fingernails, if I ever painted them. Which I don't. Gah! I bought a new eyeliner too, in Emerald, because they were having a buy one, get one free sale on Ulta products, AND I had a coupon for 20% off one item. In considering this purchase, I realized a couple things: 1) I am a sheep. 2) I will buy anything if it is on sale and I have a coupon. 3) I should not shop on my lunch half-hour, because it leads me to make hasty decisions. In my defense, I was also being crowded by a blond woman who apparently desperately needed an inappropriately dark eyebrow pencil to scribble on her Joan Crawford eyebrows. I'm no makeup guru, but why do people do that?

There is no point to this, other than to moan about my lack of self control. If you actually need make-up or nail polish, the Ulta brand stuff is buy one, get one free through Saturday, and it looks like pretty good stuff.

Hey! Rachel Bilson

So recently there has been some debate about the FTC rules about bloggers disclosing free stuff they get from companies to review. That's all well and good; I don't really care because no one gives me free stuff. I'm really more annoyed about celebrity product endorsements. I hate when you see a celebrity in an ad or on a commercial, shilling some product you just know they don't use. (Tiger Woods drives a Buick? Sarah Jessica Parker colors her own hair at home with Garnier??)

A particularly irksome example of this phenomenon occurred in the November issue of Lucky. Rachel Bilson* (who's also on the cover) stars in a six page advertisement for Tresemme products: Note the text starting on line 4: "With the help of Tresemme, she achieves the most fashion-forward hairstyles to compliment each look."

Then, about twenty pages later in the "Her Way" segment, she gives a recommendation for a shampoo and conditioner: Tresemme! No, wait, that would actually make sense. Instead, she recommends something called Davines Love Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner, which will set you back $19 and $22, respectively. What?! Didn't you just spend six pages of ad space trying to convince me that Tresemme will make my hair look like yours for about $3 a bottle? Liar!

Scanned evidence! (from Lucky Magazine, November 2009)

If you click the picture, you can see the whole thing, if you need to.

*Who is this person, anyway? I keep seeing her all over the place, (well, on the internet and in magazines) but she doesn't seem to do anything, other than lie about shampoo and wear outfits that people think are really cool. Anyone? Am I just getting old?

Tights

I've been having trouble finding tights that I like. (I suspect this is mainly because I am cheap.) I recently bought some Xhilaration ones from Target, and I hate them because some idiot made the crotch seam in the front really thick, so it makes a ridge on the pootchy part of my belly that you can see through my dresses! It's worse than VPL. Who designs something like that?! I decided to give Target another chance, and bought the Merona ones ($5.00, on sale last week) and they are a little better. I always buy the tights a size larger than I would theoretically fit, because I like them to be opaque. In this case, it means that the waistband of the tights comes pretty much to the bottom of my bra, but at least the tights aren't see through! The other thing I don't like is that these are kind of shiny-- it may be the horrible florescent lighting from my office, but they have a sort of golden shimmer. ???
My hunt for perfect black, opaque, matte tights continues. And really, would it be so hard to make the toes opaque, too? Now that we all decided that it's okay to wear tights with open toe shoes?

image from target.com