Recommendations

I've written about this before, I think, but Amazon's recommendation page drives me a little batty.  I mostly use it to get ideas for books to check out from the library. I rate stuff I've read, and the list (supposedly) kicks back other books I might enjoy.  Por ejemplo, I recently read (and liked, okay?) the Sookie Stackhouse books.  So according the Amazon algorithm,  I probably only want to read books featuring vampires, fairies, werewolves, ghosts, gnomes, etc.  Gah! Ninety percent of the recent glut of this type of book flat-out sucks. I'm going to have to check "not interested" on about one hundred items to get some fresh ideas. 
P.S. to fantasy writers: If you spell vampire, "vampyre" or kindred, "kyndred," I refuse to read your stupid book. Annoying!


And sometimes, the recommendations are kind of mind-bending.  Amazon suggests I might want to buy Fig Newtonsbecause I put a portable clothes drying rack on my wish list. What are people out there doing that unites these two products?!

Dear Conde Nast:

Please stop shrink-wrapping all the magazines you send me. I know you deperately want me to renew (early and often), but all that nasty plastic is starting to piss me off. If I want to resubscribe, I will use one of the eleventy billion postcards you thoughtfully scatter throughout your pages. Alternatively, I will go on this new-fangled thing called "the internet," where I can buy magazines with no paper waste what-so-ever. No more plastic wrap! I beg of you.

Sincerely,

K.

Hey Acne!

Apparently there is a clothing brand named "Acne." Why they decided to name their (expensive!) clothing and shoe designs after one of nature's most irritating and unattractive skin conditions is beyond me. I'm waiting for the diffusion line, Psoriasis. Sorry, that is not the point of this, I just got caught up in annoyance at the whole we're-so-edgy-ness of the name. Moving on!

I was reading Fashionista.com today, because I am a glutton for punishment, and they did one of their "Adventures in Copyright" posts regarding the lovely footwear specimen above, the Acne Ataconda. Apparently, Jeffrey Campbell has made a shoe that looks (almost) exactly like this highly coveted clodhopper. Horrors! And I mean horrors, that TWO designers would create such an ugly shoe, AND that lots of people would want to buy it. Doesn't it look orthopedic? I had a college professor who had a short leg due to a hip problem, and her left shoe looked a lot like this. Except without the snappy metallic stripe.

Image via Polyvore. God knows where they found it.

Hey! Rachel Bilson

So recently there has been some debate about the FTC rules about bloggers disclosing free stuff they get from companies to review. That's all well and good; I don't really care because no one gives me free stuff. I'm really more annoyed about celebrity product endorsements. I hate when you see a celebrity in an ad or on a commercial, shilling some product you just know they don't use. (Tiger Woods drives a Buick? Sarah Jessica Parker colors her own hair at home with Garnier??)

A particularly irksome example of this phenomenon occurred in the November issue of Lucky. Rachel Bilson* (who's also on the cover) stars in a six page advertisement for Tresemme products: Note the text starting on line 4: "With the help of Tresemme, she achieves the most fashion-forward hairstyles to compliment each look."

Then, about twenty pages later in the "Her Way" segment, she gives a recommendation for a shampoo and conditioner: Tresemme! No, wait, that would actually make sense. Instead, she recommends something called Davines Love Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner, which will set you back $19 and $22, respectively. What?! Didn't you just spend six pages of ad space trying to convince me that Tresemme will make my hair look like yours for about $3 a bottle? Liar!

Scanned evidence! (from Lucky Magazine, November 2009)

If you click the picture, you can see the whole thing, if you need to.

*Who is this person, anyway? I keep seeing her all over the place, (well, on the internet and in magazines) but she doesn't seem to do anything, other than lie about shampoo and wear outfits that people think are really cool. Anyone? Am I just getting old?

Tights

I've been having trouble finding tights that I like. (I suspect this is mainly because I am cheap.) I recently bought some Xhilaration ones from Target, and I hate them because some idiot made the crotch seam in the front really thick, so it makes a ridge on the pootchy part of my belly that you can see through my dresses! It's worse than VPL. Who designs something like that?! I decided to give Target another chance, and bought the Merona ones ($5.00, on sale last week) and they are a little better. I always buy the tights a size larger than I would theoretically fit, because I like them to be opaque. In this case, it means that the waistband of the tights comes pretty much to the bottom of my bra, but at least the tights aren't see through! The other thing I don't like is that these are kind of shiny-- it may be the horrible florescent lighting from my office, but they have a sort of golden shimmer. ???
My hunt for perfect black, opaque, matte tights continues. And really, would it be so hard to make the toes opaque, too? Now that we all decided that it's okay to wear tights with open toe shoes?

image from target.com

Outfit- March 19, 2009

This is me saying, "Isn't it awesome that my new white top with the little tuxedo pleats is completely transparent?" Why can they shoot people into space, but not make a white shirt that isn't see-through? At least I noticed how bad it was before I went to work so I could throw on the dorky undershirt. Why, why, why? Is there really a woman out there who wants her co-workers to know exactly what her bra looks like? Gah! Anyhoo, I bought this top on clearance from Old Navy a while back, and I sort of regret it. First, because it is basically Saran Wrap as far as coverage goes, and second, it is going to be a bitch to iron. I HATE ironing, and this has those fussy little pleats that I thought were so cute...

You know what? I'm going to move on to the shoes. They are leopard print satin high-heel slides from Nine West. That totally makes them sound like boudoir slippers, but there are a subtle leopard print. (Is that an oxymoron?) I'm not a huge fan of this style of high heel because they are tricky to walk in, but they pretty much threw themselves into my virtual cart-- $20 on Amazon.com, which sometimes has really good clearance prices on name brand shoes. The sizes can be limited, but I've found some good stuff, AND any order over $25 ships for free, as long as it sold directly by Amazon. Love free shipping!

Outfit- March 6, 2009

Yet another face of doom... smiles are hard at 7 a.m. This is my Casual Friday outfit from last week. It's a "vintage" sequin-peacock-feather-t-shirt from Target (9.99). I wore it with my dark wash jeans from... okay, they are from Wet Seal, but they were only $13.00, so I had to. The shoes are black Vans sneakers that I am super disappointed about. They are relatively cute, but the soles are falling off! I only wore them outside three times. When they get wet, they make this annoying squeaky fart noise as I walk. Nice. I'm probably going to buy a pair of the Converse One Star sneakers from Target to replace them, unless my superglue job worked!

Outfit March 4, 2009

I really need to work on my modeling face-- I'm not sure what I'm looking at here. Anyway, it isn't too bad for a hastily-taken, poorly-lit shot snapped 2 seconds before I had to leave for work. This is a gray ombre sweater dress from Target. It's sort of like walking around wrapped in a blanket and isn't very form-fitting. Good for all-you-can-eat buffets and the early stages of pregnancy, I imagine. I wore it with extremely annoying (see below) navy tights from Walmart and my new blue striped heels from Charlotte Russe. I will probably feature these shoes in a later post, because they are cute, and there is a mildly amusing story associated with their purchase. I also have a little sapphire necklace on, but you can't really see it. It matches my bracelet.

Here is a list of complaints about these tights:

1. Going by their size chart, I thought I was buying a size UP from what I technically could cram myself into. These tights are supposed to fit someone up to 40 pounds heavier or 5 inches taller than me. No. Flippin'. Way. My husband was laughing watching me try to wriggle and dance my way into these suckers.

2. Not opaque! Tights that aren't opaque look kind of trashy, I think. And I need the opaque tights to blend in the fact that this dress is shorter than I would normally wear to work.

3. I had a snag in them by noon, and I haven't had a run in my tights in years. I later spent about a half hour turning it into a full on run, just to see if I could pull off a sort of punk look. Nope.

4. The seam on the front-belly part was all lumpy and no matter how high up I pulled the tights (pretty darn high) it wouldn't flatten out. As a result, the fabric of the dress would cling to it. Ugh!

The odd thing is, I have another pair of George tights from Walmart in gray and they are awesome. For the record, I also had issues with Worthington tights from Penney's. So far, I like Vera Wang from Kohls the best. I hear good things about Merona tights from Target, but they didn't have navy the last time I looked. I bought some on clearance at Old Navy today, so I will see how they hold up. I know I should "invest" in some from Hue or Wolford, but I just can't make myself pay more than 10 bucks for something I'm probably going to shred.

'Cuz Being Dead Isn't Cute

The result of me taking a picture through the window. It's enough to make you cry.

As you may or may not know, a huge snow storm crapped all over Minnesota today. In light of this event, I thought I would take a break from nattering about my clothes to discuss Winter Driving. Now, you would think Minnesotans would have this down. You would be wrong-o. Here are a few tips from me, possibly the worst driver ever:

1. Brush the snow off your car. Do ALL of the windows, even that pesky back one, just in case you, you know, need to see what is behind you for some reason. If you are feeling really motivated, brush as much snow off the top of the car as you can so it doesn't slide off and block your view.

2. Scrape off any ice that may be under the snow. Do not make a tiny porthole in the driver's side of the windshield and pretend you can see, because we all know you can't.

3. Turn your lights on. This cannot be over-emphasized. Dirty grayish car on a dirty grayish road against a dirty grayish sky equals nobody can see your dumbass.

4. Slow down. I'm talking to you, Mr. Escalade driver. That enormous hunk of iron you drive does not make you Superman. While you're at it, save the aggressive tailgating for a nice, dry, sunny day, m'kay?

5. A snowstorm is not the time to practice automotive multi-tasking. Cease and desist eating, scratching, cell phone chatting, texting and nose-picking. Both hands on the wheel, both eyes on the road is the motto here. (Unless Nickleback comes on the radio. Then changing the station is totally worth the risk of death.)

6. If your car should happen to stall, say in the middle of France Avenue, please turn on your emergency flashers. Geez.

Those are my most important ones. Always remember, better late than dead!